Rejected Concept for Mature Themes Music Video by Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti

FADE IN:

INT. ARIEL PINK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Ariel Pink sits at a round, wooden kitchen table, beneath a colored stained glass chandelier. He wears big, pink-tinted sunglasses and a shirt that has large, random sections replaced with black lace. He looks too much like Kurt Cobain. He’s playing Battle Ship against a typical thin, hip music video model with a new-wave hairdo, by the name of ROSE (20s). She is his girlfriend and she looks annoyed. We know Ariel has just said something stupid.

ROSE

You’re so immature.

ARIEL

But, I really want to talk about mature things.

ROSE

Ariel, we need to talk.

ARIEL

No, look. There’s double agents in Athens. Polymonogamasturbators

running for president. Driftwood in the oil wells and shemales on meth.

There’s a lot of problems with the world right now.

Rose sighs. The two seem to be psychically playing the game and putting pegs into the board without having to ask letters or numbers.

ROSE

I know what you’re trying to do.

ARIEL

Look. I’ll make you some pink slime and we can talk about it.

Right? Pink slime is super good for you.

ROSE

This isn’t working Ariel.

ARIEL

Is it because I couldn’t find the spot in your time warp?

ROSE

Well, it didn’t help…

ARIEL

But baby! You’re so baby!

ROSE

You stole that from Donnie & Joe Emerson!

ARIEL

Fine, B7! Oh! Who sank my battleship? I sank my own

battleship. Just like South Korea!

ROSE

You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Ariel looks away whistfully.

ARIEL

I’m having a flashback. Of how we met. At the discotheque.

Or the bibliotheque. I don’t know.

A glittery white out does not happen as we do not cut to how Ariel met Rose.

ARIEL

I knew you were a nympho right off. I walked up and

said, “I’m just a rock and roller from Beverly Hills.

My name is Ariel, and I’m a nymph.”

Rose crosses her arms.

ROSE

Are you even listening to me? It’s over Ariel.

ARIEL

Fine. I won’t call you when I want to talk about

mature things daily.

ROSE

…I should go.

ARIEL

We’ll always have Paris.

ROSE

…right…

ARIEL

One more blow job of death?

Rose looks concerned and gets up and leaves quickly out the door. Ariel plops down on his bed, cradling a stuffed animal of Nostradamus.

ARIEL

Just you and me Nosty. I just need to dream a little dream about

a girl so real.

He dozes off sleepily.

INT. ARIEL’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Ariel’s alarm goes off and he slaps it lazily. He knows that he has to get out of bed.

INT. SCHNITZEL SHOP – DAY

Ariel takes a Styrofoam container from the lady behind the counter. He walks outside of the shop and opens it, looking inside, and says disappointedly:

ARIEL

That bitch put cheese on it.

FADE OUT.

[youtube http://youtu.be/Ta46M5rksBk]

*

arielpink.com

Comments

  1. The new record is great and messy.

Leave a Reply